Dear Love

     I can’t seem to find the right words I want to say to you, the right words that best fit you, the right words that would fully delineate and demystify you. If I would search up the dictionary to find new words and new meanings - its synonyms and its origins—I would still not find the words that would adequately describe you and the feeling I get from the very first day we met even up to this day whenever I am with you.

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     Whenever I look at you, I see stardust in your eyes. When I take in all of who you are, I notice that your features were impeccably sculpted by the Creator of the universe; your voice whenever you speak, especially when you sing, makes my heart skip in tune with your voice; and your heart—your sublime heart that is after God’s own heart - is what captivates me most about you.

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     You don’t need to prove how amazing you are—because you already are. You are a product of grace. You know that your worth and security is not found on the ephemeral things this world has but rather is found with the Utmost High. You live your life according to His word and not according to the patterns of this world. These things and all the other things of who are and the things you do—are just fragments of why I love you.

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     How beautiful it is to find your first love. That marvelous feeling you get whenever you are around him. Though jittery, you cannot help feeling that immense joy deep within your bones. There is nothing you wanted more than to be with him because there is a difference in seeing him from actually feeling him and being with him. Though bound by distance and time, you know in your heart that you would go anywhere if it means being with him. You know that deep inside, you are willing to go an extra mile just to see him smile even if it is just for awhile because, for you, he is a breath of fresh air in this perishing world.

     How catastrophic it is to find the One at the wrong time. There is a sinking feeling in your heart upon the realization of uncertainty; though you are so certain of him, you cannot help feeling that fear in your heart whenever you think of the possibility of losing him. There is nothing you wanted more than to burn those lingering thoughts that taunt you for there is nothing you long for than to have a future with him that even though, the incertaintude of the future scares the hell out of you, you know for a fact that you are willing to go against the physics of time, fate, and destiny because he is worth everything that you’ve ever wanted and more.

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     But even when you try so hard to fight, even when everything feels so right, sometimes, love and timing does not go according to your plan. And you lay there in your bed every night asking all the “what if’s” and “could’ve been’s” if only you met him at the right time.

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     How marvelous indeed it is to find the One but only be bounded within the walls of timing and uncertainty. You have no other choice but to let him go.