Dear Ex,

 

     We knew each other the best, didn’t we? More than my family did and more than your siblings knew you. People used to ask if we were a couple because obviously we looked good together! We had “chemistry”, man! We did!

 

     You know I loved you, maybe more than how you loved me. Well, what else can I say? I’m quite the selfish person; you know me! If I want something, I’ll eventually want to have it. Even if it wasn’t allowed, even if there’s something blocking my way; I’ll want it even more! That’s what I did.

 

     I wanted you. You who already had your eyes set on another. I wanted you who was my best friend. I wanted to be more than “friends”. I wanted more than just being in the fucking best friend zone. I wanted you to look at me like how you looked at her! I wanted you all for myself!

 

     I’m done being your wingman! I’m done setting up dates for you! I’m done being a shoulder to lean on when you get dumped!  You were my everything! Why couldn’t you do the same for me! I was all yours; why couldn’t you just be happy with me? Was I not enough? What does she have that I don’t?! If you only looked at me the way I looked at you, then maybe things wouldn’t be like this.

 

     It still hurts, you know? My heart still drops when you pass by in the hallways, and the only thing I catch is a whiff of the cologne I gave you on your last birthday. My heart feels like it’s being stabbed again and again and again when you look at her the way I wanted you to look at me.  

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     How do I move on when we’re neighbours, batchmates, classmates, seatmates, and we used to have the same friends? How can I move on without the help of my best friend? How can I move on without closure? Who can save me now?

 

Your Best Friend,

Me.